Rated PG-13 • Streaming

Netflix’s The Union, starring Hollywood A-listers Mark Wahlberg and Halle Berry appearing together on screen for the first time, seems like it would have some sparkle. But while director Julian Farino’s action-comedy spy-thriller hits the technical marks for sound and visuals, the story is crass and colorless from beginning to end.

A briefcase with top-secret intel has gone missing. The Union, a little-known spook outfit, recruits construction worker Mike McKenna (Wahlberg) to help retrieve the briefcase because he’s an unknown among the cloak-and-dagger set—a “nobody” who has street smarts. The recommendation for the job comes via Union agent Roxanne Hall (Berry), Mike’s girlfriend 25 years earlier. So, Mike winds up in London where he trains in weapons and hand-to-hand combat, and in no time at all he excels at parkour, pistols, and one-handed, alley-threading motorbike riding. While he and Roxanne try to keep the Western world from going up in flames, they begin to rekindle their own spark. And, oh, Mike’s gotta get back to New Jersey in short order to serve as best man at a wedding.

For a spy thriller, The Union strangely forgoes anything like a James Bond–film opening action sequence to set the tone. Instead, from early on and then throughout, this big-budget film tries to draw and hold viewers with the presumably zesty banter of a former high school couple working through old grudges. What results is a lifeless 90 minutes of Mike and Roxanne recalling their “janitor’s closet” trysts, and of Mike repeatedly referring to recent dalliances with his middle school English teacher. Conventional car chases and gun battles offer interruptions to the carnal jabbering—but not to the pervasive blasphemies and expletives that push the boundaries of the PG-13 rating.