Memories come rushing back like drops of rain pelting my head. Every drop of rain, a tender emotion, every sheet of water releases a frisson of feelings. It’s so easy to gush about someone who has been an inexorable part of my life for over three decades now. Amit ji has been a part of my consciousness ever since I saw him create magic on screen in Parwana playing the intense, silent yet obsessive lover opposite Yogeeta Bali. Incidentally, Yogeeta was the one who introduced us at Madras airport.
There is no learning like first-hand experience. In that sense, Amitji who-is an institution has been my school, my college, my university. You can’t drill or force a child to inculcate discipline. You need to create an atmosphere by just being everything that you want him or her to be. It’s like the guru-shishya Parampara. Similarly, Amitji created the perfect mahol (environment) for me just by virtue of being himself. And the irony is that he was totally oblivious of the impact he had on mine or anybody else’s life. And mind you, he’s never ever taught me anything or helped me with my scenes or stuff like that. Just his presence and spirit contributed to my métier as an actor and as a human being.
This may sound like a completely demented, obsessive fan’s outpouring. Call it what you will but it’s my point of view. Amitji brought the whiff of purity, integrity, honesty in every gesture of his on and off screen. To employ a terrible cliche, he is ‘to the manner born’. His sense of aesthetics, his baritone, his voice modulation and his performances have been discussed ad nauseum. Without hesitation, let me reiterate that Amitji has contributed immeasurably to me being an actor. He’s like my inner conscience which guides me through life and my performances. The conscience does not consciously teach you anything. It’s always there. You just tap into it whenever you need it. As time goes by, I believe it’s more and more real, like the voice of God. You may not get to see it but you feel it all the time.
And the camera caught that. I was pleasantly surprised to find my partner in dance sequences who complemented me in every step. My fans write to me that the Yeh kahan aa gaye from Silsila is one of my most romantic songs ever and keep asking me if it was for real. What can I say but that it’s the power of the magical movies. And somehow the audience also catches on and wants to believe that vibe is for real. Or else how do you explain a song like that becoming such a universal rage?
After Ram Balram, we didn’t get a chance to work together for a long time until Silsila. I remember shooting the ‘I hate you’ at Lodhi garden with Amitji. It was my big moment. To make matters worse, Richard Attenborough’s Gandhi was being shot next door. The entire crowd had poured onto our set. As always, I was nervous as hell and wanted to run away. Amitji was his usual deadpan cool dude self. Sensing my panic, he asked me, “Kya hua bhai, what’s the problem?’’ I replied that I was intimidated by the crowds and wanted to drop dead. Then he told me an anecdote about James Dean who during a shoot, peed in public to rid himself of his fear of crowds. I was like, “Thank you, that makes me feel so much better. Now I can die in peace.” However we did that scene in one straight take. Don’t ask me how I did it, I just thanked my lucky stars and got the hell out of there. With super duper professionals like Mr Bachchan, there’s no other way out. One just lives, experiences and never forgets.
My loss is that I didn’t get a chance to share the phenomenal growth of Amitji as an actor. So would you blame me for being thrilled when his producers requested me to dub for Neetu Singh in Yaaraana, Sridevi in Aakhri Raasta, Jayasudha and the late Soundarya in Sooryavansham?
When fans write to me and question why we haven’t worked together after Silsila, the only rational answer that I can think of is that the wait to be able to co-star with Amitji is worth it. That everything happens for the right reason at the right time. And I’d attribute that to the better judgment of the directors who believe that they’ve yet to come across something worthy of our calibre. I truly believe that sabr ka phal meetha hota hai. In this case, time is not of the essence. That I know for sure.
What kind of dua can I offer him on his birthday? I hope that everyone is as fortunate as me to live a life with a role model like Amitji. I hope he realises his full potential and never underestimates his power. May he always be blessed with serenity of mind and body. I wish and pray he’s in optimum health always. Just imagine the impact when Amitji finally becomes aware of his true unique qualities. Right now, he’s blissfully unaware of the way he’s impacted any and every one who’s been remotely touched by his presence. Amitabh Bachchan is an experience. You have to feel the full blast to understand it. Like always, memories keep rushing back and fill the vacant spaces between my thoughts… what else can I say now… to reiterate a line from Silsila, “Jo baat labzon meir adaa ho jaaye woh baat hi kya…”
Saudagar
I react to his performance here like a woman not just an ardent fan. The complexity he brought to his role, being married to an older woman, playing the typical Indian man without seeming too chauvinistic. It was edgy no doubt.
Parwana
I loved the relationship with his wife, the way he speaks to Waheeda)/ in the Awadhi dialect. The relationship with his son and his belief zulm ka badla zulm. And contrast the manner in which he speaks English in his clipped British accent!
I adored Amitji in Abhimaan. The scene where he holds didibai (Jaya Bachchan) with her wet hair and pulls her down to him was just too much! And his touching his lower lip as a sign language to suggest intimacy was such, a subtle touch. The silent suffering that his wife was more popular than him was so brilliantly portrayed.
Nobody, I repeat NOBODY speaks Awadhi like Amitji. He is the original Ganga kinaarewala. A complete natural. Again the two contrasting characters are simply a treat to watch… again and again.
I love the silences in Shakti. Especially the scene after Raakhee’s death where he quietly comes and places his hand on his father’s arm.
I like everything about that performance. Like Padosan, it’s timeless. An instant pick-me-up movie.
It’s my all-time favourite performance. It scores even higher than Deewaar for me. He subtly tells you the difference between being a drunkard and an alcoholic. The little touches of normalcy he adds to a complete alcoholic were masterly. It was an effortless performance. No theatrics, exaggeration. He wasn’t playing to the gallery; he wasn’t trying to prove a point. The only other performance of his that comes anywhere close is the one in Black. I don’t think he can ever repeat or excel the Sharaabi portrayal. And dare I say… all you remake specialists out there don’t even try this one.
I remember the dialogue, “Dukh toh is baat ka hai ke maine anjaane mein tumhe dukh pahunchaaya hai.” How can love and passion be performed more real than that? What a phew-nomenal piece of craft. No wonder the world believed that the triangle was for real.
This interview was first published in a Filmfare magazine issue in October 2006.
