The four heroes of “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” are all different personalities, and the AI trailer keeps this in mind by imagining radically different middle-aged fates for them all. Leonardo is faithful to his streak as a responsible leader in a middle management job that he clearly hates but continues to endure for the sake of his family. Michelangelo has continued his impulsiveness by spending his days at the bar after a nasty divorce — possibly from April O’Neil, with whom he is unhappily married in the “Saturday Night Live” skit.  

Meanwhile, the other two turtles operate from far stranger walks of life. Ever the inventor, Donatello has struck gold with an appropriately violent and pizza-themed infomercial product and is living a life of leisure. The hot-headed Raphael, on the other hand, has apparently become a far-right activist who’s returned to the sewers to escape the consequences of his role in the January 6, 2021, Capitol attack. 

Despite their wildly different lives, the turtles seem to fall right back into their old chemistry when they meet at Splinter’s funeral. Still, it’s clear that each of them — well, Donatello notwithstanding — has gone through a whole heap of trouble. As such, the trailer might advertise the non-existent film as a comedy, but the underlying sense of loss makes this imaginary version of “Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles” a strange midway point between the turtles’ goofy teenage antics and “The Last Ronin,” TMNT’s darkest story.